Religious vs. Civil Ceremony

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When it comes to arranging your wedding, the most important part should really be the actual getting married bit.

That's the whole point of it all apparently.

When I was younger I had always assumed I would get married in our local church. The village I grew up in is very pretty, with the River Chater running right next to the church and it's where my Mum and Dad got married. I went to the Church of England Primary School in the village as well and it was where the teachers would take us for bank holidays and special services.

We went to a few weddings last year, half of them were church ceremonies and half civil ceremonies and it made me realise I really didn't want to get married in a church. No offence at all to people who do choose a religious ceremony, especially the ones we went to, they were beautiful and obviously perfect for each couple. 

But I am not at all religious and would not appreciate the hymns, prayers and blessings at my own wedding. It would make me feel like a fraud and probably resent the whole thing because I just don't believe in it. Tom by the way doesn't mind what we do, as long as by the end of the day we're actually married he's pretty easy.

We are currently looking at having a civil ceremony in an old chapel near my mum and dad's, so we get the best of both worlds! The registrar performing the ceremony, but still with the lovely photo opportunities.

Here's a break down as to what the difference is in both ceremonies 
and the super fun rules and regulations:

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Religious Ceremony

If you want to get married in a Church of England which is in your local parish this is normally pretty easy. It's best to just go and speak to the Vicar to discuss available dates and check everything is all okay. If however, you want a church outside your parish, you need to apply for a special licence and have good reasons as to why the Vicar should let you marry there i.e. you grew up there. Just liking the look of the church tends to not go down too well! When this is decided, they read out the banns on three consecutive Sundays 3 months before the wedding takes place. 

Ceremonies in the Catholic Church and other religions tend to follow a similar process. I do know that they can be slightly particular and that you sometimes have to attend so many services and commit to the church before they will marry you.

Then during the actual wedding the Vicar will introduce you, you will repeat the vows and declarations, and they will bless you. At the end the bride and groom will sign the register to make the marriage legal, with the witnesses looking on.

You'll then leave the church *confetti!* and after hours of photographs head off to your reception do for food and dancing! Yay! You're married!

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Civil Ceremony

For a civil ceremony you have a choice as to whether you want to get married in a registry office or a licenced building. They are currently wanting to change the law so that you can get married outside, but for now it still has to be under an actual roof and be licenced for weddings.

To arrange your civil ceremony you first need to speak to the superintendent registrar in the parish you want to get married in, and check they have the dates and times available that you are looking at. If you are living outside of the parish, you then need to speak to your local registrar as well because it is them who does the 'pre-wedding' legal side. You need your own certificate each from them, which takes 15 days, and they will then display the notice of your marriage on a notice board in the registrar office. This is valid for 12 months, so don't be too eager with this!

At the actual service it will be the registrar who marries you, reading out the vows and declarations for the bride and groom to repeat back. You're not allowed any religious hymns or prayers, so people normally choose their own readings or poems as an alternative. Then as with a religious ceremony, you sign the register at the end and voilà, you're married! Confetti, photographs, off to the reception, food then dance!

What did you chose to go for at your wedding? Are you planning it now?

Leave a comment or send me an email, I would genuinely love to hear from you!

Gemma

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